"Nothing a man can’t do if he believes in himself."
- Charlie Alnut
"You know, I’ve only known such excitement a few times before. A few times, in my dear brother’s sermons, when the Spirit was really upon him."
"By the authority vested in me by Kaiser Wilhelm II, I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution."
"Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above."